I went all of 2019 with no word for the year.

A few nights ago I had a word come to me and I thought it might be the one for 2020 but I wasn’t sure. I am now. 

I don’t know if not having a word this past year was the reason I found myself feeling lost, or if I never established a word because I felt so lost. If the latter was in fact the reason, I think that was seriously silly of me. I think intentions are so important. I know they are. I thought I had learned that already from doing this for a couple years. Often times I find myself abandoning good habits that have proven to be good for me then looking back and asking myself why I’m complaining about still being in the same spot.

I know a lot of shit has gone down this year, but I really can feel a true energetic difference between the years where I set my sights on an intention and this year where I neglected to do so. Aimless wanderer.

Everyone always says life “isn’t a practice run” but I think the way that’s phrased puts a lot of pressure on people to think they are already supposed to know how to do any of this. Practice is how we build the foundation for future success. Practice is all about figuring out what works and what doesn’t. Practice requires action. Practice results in progress.

I don’t know how to do any of this. But I’m willing to try. I’ve been giving things my best effort my whole life and giving in to feeling like a total failure when I didn’t get it perfect right away. There’s no grace in that. There’s no love in that. I want to be gracious and I want to be a kind and loving person, even to myself.

Although this post would probably get put in the “new year, new me” category, I want to be very clear…with myself more so than anyone. I am the same me. I am the same compassionate, moody, emotional, free thinking, loving, flawed, sensual, inquisitive, gracious, mistake making and always learning me.

Same me, higher perspective.

I think I’m just ready to put all the positive things I’ve spent the last few years soaking up into practice. I won’t ever be perfect but I’ll always be making progress.

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