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So today I had the day off from work and I was flipping through the channels (AKA scrolling the guide, for those of you that weren’t around when to see what was on every channel you had no choice but to flip through every channel or waste away watching TV Guide trying not to blink…) and saw the Steve Harvey show was on. Now, I don’t want this post to be about him but let me go ahead and get this out of the way….yea he screwed up at Miss Universe, maybe it was a conspiracy for ratings, blah blah blah, I like the guy. I don’t always watch his show but I do occasionally and today he had a dream expert on as a guest.

I have always been so fascinated by dreams. I’ve always loved stories so the idea of your brain making up it’s very own story while you sleep is just as mind blowing to me as an infinite universe. I’ve also been extremely good at remembering my dreams. I used to think it was no big deal, that everyone was like this maybe? But the more I’ve talked to people, the more I’ve come to learn that a lot of people hardly remember their dreams or “don’t dream” at all.

Right after you wake up is always the best time to recall your dreams but I find myself being able to remember even the smallest of details for the remainder of the day, days, weeks, months….I even remember dreams from childhood and my teenage years. I’ve had dreams of things and then seen them in real life. I’ve had reoccurring dreams of tidal waves (the worst!). I once had a dream in a hallway full of doors, I went through one door- realized it wasn’t the room I was supposed to be in (in the dream of course) then proceeded to the next door (the correct room) then the next night, I had a dream that took place in the first room from the night before. I enjoyed that little Easter egg ;)

Andre has lucid dreams where he can make decisions as his dream self like to fly or something crazy like that. I feel like you have to have a strong mind or be really good at dreaming to do that. I haven’t done much looking into dream decoding and today I just happened to catch maybe the last minute of the segment on the Steve Harvey show but it definitely got me wanting to do further research into this interesting topic!

 

Do you ever remember your dreams? Done any research on the decoding dreams? Know any good research resources? Know anything about reoccurring tidal wave dreams? Every have any of your own reoccurring dreams?! Tell me everything about your life! ;P

 

 

Hope you guys have had a happy Monday! I’ll see you tonight on Twitter for the Bachelor! ♥

On Friday, I gave in. I accepted that fall was coming and summer would soon be over. Sure it would be nice to live in a place where the weather is always perfect sunny and 70’s, but living in a place where the seasons change is a good thing too, I think.

Every few months you are reminded that you should accept that things will change over time even if you don’t want to because they will most likely change anyway. This is especially evident when your favorite season is coming to a close. Those first few weeks can be the hardest as you realize the air is a different temperature (no matter how hard you have tried to ignore it), the earth around you is changing right before your eyes and summertime is moving on. But then- you rest easy knowing it will come around again, hopeful that you’ll get to experience it.

And that is where the jewel of this life is found.

Hope.

In deciding to give in to the new season approaching and paint my nails a color more suited for fall, I was reminded that there is always hope and for that my heart is full of gratitude. The simplest of moments can give way to the largest lessons, even something like just choosing a nail color. I’m currently learning to see the biggest and best of life in every little thing.

Farewell to the most groovy of all seasons! But it’s nice to see you again, Autumn.

So, happy first day of Autumn to you and may the pumpkin spice be ever your flavor ;P

xx

 

Most of you reading probably know that I’m from a mid-size beach town on the east coast. Having grown up at the beach I always find it astonishing when people have only been a handful of times or even not at all. If you’ve never been, then the physical experience I’m about to share won’t be relatable but the message I think is for everyone. It jumped out at me one October day last year on one of my final trips to the beach as a resident.

When you’re walking away from the ocean, it looks like you’re walking on a treadmill. You’re moving forward towards (more) solid ground and there is a force behind you taking out the old and bringing in the new- literally changing the ground you’re walking on right before your eyes.

But at first glance, it seems you’re going nowhere.

With my 25th birthday having just passed, I can’t help but think about how far I’ve come. I can’t help but think of sweet Nikita. I can’t help but think of all the ups and downs I’m sure are to continue to come as the year continues to progress, just like  in years past. But this year, and forevermore,  I want to hold on to this reminder that as the years pass, although there will be times where it seems like: We are going nowhere. Things aren’t changing. No one cares…

The fact is that no matter how good/smart/organized/efficient we are, we never truly see the whole picture.

There are forces all around us that we can’t see that are working for our aid, not just against us, as sometimes it might seem. This is true, but it is still up to us to keep moving. You see, if you stand too long on the ocean’s treadmill like surface your feet will sink into the earth as the waves move in and out, as though you were standing on quicksand. It becomes increasing harder to move forward…but still– not impossible. As long as one keeps moving forward, a more solid ground will be found.

So as we continue to move full speed ahead through this year and beyond, I challenge you (and my own self) to take a second look. A deeper look. To forever stay positive and hopeful. To believe that everything can work out for your greater good. Believe that the old will flush out, the new will come in and you’ll be standing on solid ground when all is said and done – even if it doesn’t look that way in the present moment.

This message came at an exceptionally perfect time for me because at the time, I was about to make my first move away from my hometown, my family and the sea. Something I was excited about, but scared of all at the same time. Although this encouragement came in 2014 and I’m sharing it in 2015, it’s one I want to carry with me for the rest of my years because I believe it to be relevant no matter where you are in life. My hope is that you might be blessed and carry it with you as well.

One of my current favorite photos of a hometown beach. Luna in the corner shining ♥

 

 

I would like to express great gratitude for the beach, the ocean and all its many wonders and life lessons.

x

 

**Joining Miranda for Coffee Chat today!

Does anyone ever feel like they are awesome at helping other people stay organized but terrible at keeping their own life together? What does that say about me, that I feel that way. I’m always so interested in the science behind our brain and how it works altogether but on an individual level as well. Like- how our brains work partnered with who we are.

I’ve said before that I’m a very go with the flow kind of person and I am, but I believe in balance in all things and I just feel like I’m trying to learn the art of stability at 24 years old. It’s a task that I believe is 1000 times more confusing as an adult than as a child in this culture with all the unimportant bullshit shoved down our throats by all sorts of media outlets on the regular. But I suppose, what isn’t more difficult to learn as an adult than as a child. Come to think of it…be careful what you’re letting your kids watch and listen to because they’re being fed bs too…

but that’s a different blog post.

I don’t know. The way I feel right now, it’s all very confusing. I’m challenging myself in more ways than one in my life right now and I have this overwhelming anxiety that I won’t be able to keep up…with myself? I don’t know.

Perhaps I’m learning a lesson in believing in myself, but also how to give myself grace.

Time will tell right? Or maybe not.

Ugh. Here I go again..

x

 

I’ve joked before about my  procratination  issues, but I think it’s something serious I’m ready to deal with. When I sat back trying to think of a way to do that, I figured I should first try to figure out why I struggle with it so much. I think (at least in my case) that any issues with procrastination are a direct result of me working against the natural flow of my thought process. I’m tired of jamming days full of “things to do” instead of asking myself questions like:

What do I want to do?

What do I need to do?

What can I do?

So I blow myself off because I’m not working with the natural energy of my personality. I think making what to do with my time a dialogue with myself instead of a list of life’s demands might make completing tasks easier and more fun.

Structure is wonderful and I believe in the benefits of it but if your mind is more free-flowing, you should allow for that some in your life. I feel like if you don’t, you’ll be constantly working against yourself, potentially setting yourself back. I guess it’s in the same way someone who is more structure oriented shouldn’t “go with the flow” if it makes them uncomfortable and unable to work or succeed.

Everyone is different. I’ve known that. So I don’t know why I keep creating these boxes to sit in. I’m not a sit in the box kind of person. For those of you who are, more power to you! Be you! That’s exactly what I’m trying to say. I think I just need to allow myself to be…myself. I think if I do that instead of beat myself up all the time, calling myself “immature” simply because serious structure just isn’t my thing, I might start making some progress on life’s projects and find this ‘maturity’ I speak of, in my own sense of self. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not getting rid of lists! I love making lists. Crossing things off of them especially. I just mean I want to work on being more in tune with myself instead of tuning in to all the buzz. So instead of making “to do lists” I think I’ll start making a “list of things I want to do” because no, maybe I don’t always want to do laundry, but I do want my husband to have clean clothes. So…ultimately, I do want to do laundry! Who would have thought!

I hope my thoughts encourage you to find your own flow. Sit in your box if you want, break out if you want, just do you and BE KIND TO YOURSELF!

Love to all of you!

xx

Someone recently told me that my blog titles should be straight to the point. Nothing cheeky or too mysterious. So I figured this post was the perfect place to start. Now, I realize a more popular time to post this would have been when this topic was still on the forefront of conversation, but I think the message behind this post (that was intended to be published mid January) is relevant all year long. 

For those of you who don’t know, I’ve spent the last few (read: 5 or 6) years as somewhat of a recluse. I’ve hid from the world pretty much and just about everyone in it. Kinda. Anyway- what I’m trying to say is that I didn’t realize there was this much disdain for the “New Year’s Resolution” by the general public. To be honest there was a time when I would shame the “new year, new me” statement but I didn’t realize how widely adopted that viewpoint is.

I’ve seen them referred to as “lame” too many times to count and looking from the light of my new perspective, it’s frustrating because, why should we give people such a hard time for giving themselves a second chance?

“New year,  new me” says, “hope for me and what I want out of life is NOT lost.”

So what people might fail halfway through the year or sooner? We all fail at some point with a lot of things. What makes a failure at something started in the middle of the year any more noble than failure at something started on January 1st? Now I understand that starting things and not finishing them is a whole ‘nother subject but that’s not the one I’m on so stay with me boo!

All I’m saying is that I think being able to say “New year, new me” is a statement that could only come from a courageous heart, especially with all the scrutiny new year resolutions seem to be getting these days. Having hope for your life is one of the most powerful positive thoughts you can feel.

When someone says they’re “over people making New Year resolutions” or they’re lame or whatever it’s just spreading negativity. They might not want to take on making resolutions themselves but it shouldn’t be shamed for everyone else. A new year/month/day/hour, new me statement is one of the most brave statements I can think of. Yea, what if you fail and people talk? Ok, let’s cross that bridge when we get to it though because A. people do that all the time anyway whether you fail or succeed. And B, just think of this:

What if you don’t.

Yes, I was once a person who might have called making new year’s resolutions lame but my perspective has shifted. This post is me begging forgiveness because I have realized that New Year’s resolutions are not lame at all if only simply because they are made up of hopeful thoughts and positive energy and having hope will never be lame.

I think everyone has a point in their life where they need a second chance from someone else or their own self. Probably more than one. I think that’s just life. So good luck to you with your new year resolution or just that second chance you might need from whoever, for whatever reason, smack in the middle of the year. And of course remember:

There is always hope. 

 

x

Here goes.

Ok so I guess I’m writing this out for my own personal needs but I’m sharing it because when I first started this thing I said that I wanted anyone who ended up here to feel a little less alone in this world so here goes.

So far, in only 31 days, 2015 has left me speechless. That can prove to be unfortunate when writing a blog but I don’t mean in the writer’s block kind of way, I mean literally I cannot formulate complete thoughts to adequately express where I am.

What started out as blind optimism quickly turned to frustration when my blog was experiencing so many technical difficulties and it seemed I was never going to figure it out/get it fixed. All of that quickly became trivial when heartbreak came in with the loss of my wonderful friend Nikita. Which then became complete and total confusion.

I wish I could say I’m all “live life to the fullest” and whatnot but I’m not sure that I am. I’m almost embarrassed to say that for a brief moment in time, I thought I was finally starting to understand life just a little bit. It’s all a part of the journey I suppose. Confusion, questions, answers, inspiration…confusion, questions, no answers, inspiration… Life. You tricky, tricky thing you.

I swear I’m not trying to be negative, I’m just trying to accept the confusion all while holding on to the joy and positivity I have in my heart and that Niki’s legacy inspires.

I have some finished stuff that didn’t get posted over the last couple weeks with everything that’s been going on so I’ll be playing catch up for a minute (read- you’ll finally see my Christmas update! Ha!). Hopefully that will give me some time to figure out some answers. Or “no answers”. There is inspiration and beauty in both. Somehow. Not sure how. But I believe it. I truly, truly believe it.

I am so thankful that one of my sweet childhood friends, Amber (who was super close with Niki) sent me a few photos from our days together as youngin’s. It brought joy to my heart to see these photos so I want to share them with you.

So much love to you all.

x