I’ve joked before about my  procratination  issues, but I think it’s something serious I’m ready to deal with. When I sat back trying to think of a way to do that, I figured I should first try to figure out why I struggle with it so much. I think (at least in my case) that any issues with procrastination are a direct result of me working against the natural flow of my thought process. I’m tired of jamming days full of “things to do” instead of asking myself questions like:

What do I want to do?

What do I need to do?

What can I do?

So I blow myself off because I’m not working with the natural energy of my personality. I think making what to do with my time a dialogue with myself instead of a list of life’s demands might make completing tasks easier and more fun.

Structure is wonderful and I believe in the benefits of it but if your mind is more free-flowing, you should allow for that some in your life. I feel like if you don’t, you’ll be constantly working against yourself, potentially setting yourself back. I guess it’s in the same way someone who is more structure oriented shouldn’t “go with the flow” if it makes them uncomfortable and unable to work or succeed.

Everyone is different. I’ve known that. So I don’t know why I keep creating these boxes to sit in. I’m not a sit in the box kind of person. For those of you who are, more power to you! Be you! That’s exactly what I’m trying to say. I think I just need to allow myself to be…myself. I think if I do that instead of beat myself up all the time, calling myself “immature” simply because serious structure just isn’t my thing, I might start making some progress on life’s projects and find this ‘maturity’ I speak of, in my own sense of self. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not getting rid of lists! I love making lists. Crossing things off of them especially. I just mean I want to work on being more in tune with myself instead of tuning in to all the buzz. So instead of making “to do lists” I think I’ll start making a “list of things I want to do” because no, maybe I don’t always want to do laundry, but I do want my husband to have clean clothes. So…ultimately, I do want to do laundry! Who would have thought!

I hope my thoughts encourage you to find your own flow. Sit in your box if you want, break out if you want, just do you and BE KIND TO YOURSELF!

Love to all of you!

xx

Someone recently told me that my blog titles should be straight to the point. Nothing cheeky or too mysterious. So I figured this post was the perfect place to start. Now, I realize a more popular time to post this would have been when this topic was still on the forefront of conversation, but I think the message behind this post (that was intended to be published mid January) is relevant all year long. 

For those of you who don’t know, I’ve spent the last few (read: 5 or 6) years as somewhat of a recluse. I’ve hid from the world pretty much and just about everyone in it. Kinda. Anyway- what I’m trying to say is that I didn’t realize there was this much disdain for the “New Year’s Resolution” by the general public. To be honest there was a time when I would shame the “new year, new me” statement but I didn’t realize how widely adopted that viewpoint is.

I’ve seen them referred to as “lame” too many times to count and looking from the light of my new perspective, it’s frustrating because, why should we give people such a hard time for giving themselves a second chance?

“New year,  new me” says, “hope for me and what I want out of life is NOT lost.”

So what people might fail halfway through the year or sooner? We all fail at some point with a lot of things. What makes a failure at something started in the middle of the year any more noble than failure at something started on January 1st? Now I understand that starting things and not finishing them is a whole ‘nother subject but that’s not the one I’m on so stay with me boo!

All I’m saying is that I think being able to say “New year, new me” is a statement that could only come from a courageous heart, especially with all the scrutiny new year resolutions seem to be getting these days. Having hope for your life is one of the most powerful positive thoughts you can feel.

When someone says they’re “over people making New Year resolutions” or they’re lame or whatever it’s just spreading negativity. They might not want to take on making resolutions themselves but it shouldn’t be shamed for everyone else. A new year/month/day/hour, new me statement is one of the most brave statements I can think of. Yea, what if you fail and people talk? Ok, let’s cross that bridge when we get to it though because A. people do that all the time anyway whether you fail or succeed. And B, just think of this:

What if you don’t.

Yes, I was once a person who might have called making new year’s resolutions lame but my perspective has shifted. This post is me begging forgiveness because I have realized that New Year’s resolutions are not lame at all if only simply because they are made up of hopeful thoughts and positive energy and having hope will never be lame.

I think everyone has a point in their life where they need a second chance from someone else or their own self. Probably more than one. I think that’s just life. So good luck to you with your new year resolution or just that second chance you might need from whoever, for whatever reason, smack in the middle of the year. And of course remember:

There is always hope. 

x

Here goes.

Ok so I guess I’m writing this out for my own personal needs but I’m sharing it because when I first started this thing I said that I wanted anyone who ended up here to feel a little less alone in this world so here goes.

So far, in only 31 days, 2015 has left me speechless. That can prove to be unfortunate when writing a blog but I don’t mean in the writer’s block kind of way, I mean literally I cannot formulate complete thoughts to adequately express where I am.

What started out as blind optimism quickly turned to frustration when my blog was experiencing so many technical difficulties and it seemed I was never going to figure it out/get it fixed. All of that quickly became trivial when heartbreak came in with the loss of my wonderful friend Nikita. Which then became complete and total confusion.

I wish I could say I’m all “live life to the fullest” and whatnot but I’m not sure that I am. I’m almost embarrassed to say that for a brief moment in time, I thought I was finally starting to understand life just a little bit. It’s all a part of the journey I suppose. Confusion, questions, answers, inspiration…confusion, questions, no answers, inspiration… Life. You tricky, tricky thing you.

I swear I’m not trying to be negative, I’m just trying to accept the confusion all while holding on to the joy and positivity I have in my heart and that Niki’s legacy inspires.

I have some finished stuff that didn’t get posted over the last couple weeks with everything that’s been going on so I’ll be playing catch up for a minute (read- you’ll finally see my Christmas update! Ha!). Hopefully that will give me some time to figure out some answers. Or “no answers”. There is inspiration and beauty in both. Somehow. Not sure how. But I believe it. I truly, truly believe it.

I am so thankful that one of my sweet childhood friends, Amber (who was super close with Niki) sent me a few photos from our days together as youngin’s. It brought joy to my heart to see these photos so I want to share them with you.

So much love to you all.

x

What a brilliant way to bring in 2015.

I had a post planned for today.

A Christmas&NYE recap.

And actually, it was planned for Monday.

I’ve been super excited to share it with everyone but of course, like clockwork with a dead battery- it stops.

For some reason, ALL of my photos decided to stop showing up.

I’ve even switched computers (from laptop to desktop) juuust to make sure it wasn’t some glitch that had nothing to do with my actual post but alas, it is my post.

Or possibly my whole blog. Not sure yet because of course I am working out of town this week so my schedule and location don’t leave me much time to get it all figured out at the moment. Of course right?

Just as I started to get frazzled/annoyed/angry/anxious-

I stopped.

Such. is. life.

It isn’t about what goes right or wrong, it’s about how you handle all the little things that life seems to bring with it- good or bad…or annoying.

It’s a tale as old as time but I think it’s one we easily forget.

Well, I can’t speak for everyone so I will say I. I easily forget.

So instead of frustration, I will harbor gratitude in my heart for the simple reminder that life doesn’t always go as planned, but it goes, and it’s up to us whether we spread positivity or. well. you know ;)

Well played 2015.

xx